Balloons! My Epic Embarrassing Story.

This past Saturday was Elizabeth, Bobby, and Adam's graduation party. So the P's were busy decorating and doing last minute details for the fun party. I was kindly asked to pick up the balloons for the party at Party City. The balloons were already paid for so all I needed to do was show up, pick them up, and take them to the party. Easy enough right?


So, I show up and the Party City employee has an unhappy, non-party face. I could tell she LOVED her job... I finally was able to prove that I was picking up the balloons (who knew it would be so hard!) and she kindly (read: b*tchily) said it would be a couple of minutes before they would be ready. So I roamed the store happily thinking of what I could do to entertain myself in the store for a couple of minutes and let the time pass.


Fast forward a few minutes later, the lady tells me they are ready and she basically hands me this! (I later found out there were 48 in total!)

Picture courtesy of www.donmilleris.com

She hands me two different spots on the strings to hold on to them and she kindly (read: b*tchily) tells me to attempt to not float away.. I laugh it off and think you have got to be kidding me.. So before I even leave the store, I call Adam to complain. Except, as I am attempting to complain, I have trouble walking out the doors because I need BOTH doors open and i cant really open them and hold balloons and walk out! Phew somehow I overcame my first obstacle! 

At this point, I am still amused at the situation, partially. So I continue walking to my car thinking that I hope I can see out of my car as I drive.. Oh how naive I was... I felt that I was getting picked up by the balloons and wind a couple of times but I arrive at my car. I proceed to attempt to shove balloons into it.. Problem not even half of the balloons make it before the car is full (WITHOUT me in it!) and I am starting to cause a scene.. Cars are stopping asking me if I need help... Van full of children offer to take balloons off of my hands.. and the whole time I am already plotting different ways to torture Adam and Elizabeth. (Sorry I love you guys again it was just at that point.)

After I pop two or three balloons, I realize this is useless. So I hide next to the Party City building so the wind doesn't pick me up and I call Adam for HELP! I try to be patient while speaking to him.. but then he tells me how this is bad timing.. and I basically lose it! I tell him something along these lines "BAD TIMING!?!?I AM ABOUT TO FLY AWAY.PEOPLE ARE STARING.I HAVE TOO MANY BALLOONS.THEY ARE POPPING. (The balloons started hitting the small ceiling that was shielding me from flying away.)AND THIS IS BAD TIMING FOR YOU?!?!?!" He realizes right away his grave mistake and attempts to calm me down by telling me he will bring the suburban ASAP to help me.

So I wait.. a horrible wait.. people pass by.. its unbelievable how many people pass by Party City on a Saturday afternoon. One lady looks at me and goes "Wow that is pretty..... (a couple of seconds pass by) PRETTY BIG hahahahaha" (I almost shoved the balloons in her face and anywhere else possible.) Other people say small comments here and there. I am pretty sure I am starting to fume at the ears.. My arm starts getting tired of floating up in the air because the blood is not flowing properly. The balloons get tangled up. For a brief second, I think how funny this must be to someone else.. but then realize how horrible this is for me.

FINALLY Adam gets there with the suburban.. but he doesn't proceed to park.. he stops his car right in front of Party City stopping the flow of traffic. SO people are giving us the stink eye. He then attempts to shove the balloons into the suburban. Except there is a problem, the balloons don't fit now that they are all tangled up. So Adam did what any SANE person would do at that moment... he starts shoving them into the suburban one way or another popping about at least 10 balloons in the process...

We are both irritated and in a bad mood. So we both drive to his house like mad people and hand off the balloons to someone else that will not pop them before the party even starts.  It was then that we realized that we survived the balloons and we are still together as a couple. In order to NOT have a divorce later in life (I know we first have to get married ha). We also resolve that if we ever do have a kid.. there will be NO balloons at the birthday parties!! We have officially retired from balloons!